First Pizza

I now fly out of India on 1 February. A little earlier than originally planned but it was either that or hang around without much to do here after Robin and Angela had both gone interstate for over a week.
The flight from Singapore to Sydney, however, is proving more difficult so I’ve been waitlisted but don’t know if I’ll be in Singapore for 8 hours or 10 days. If you could keep my travel arrangements in your prayers that would be much appreciated.

Since the problem with the season dates came up and I had to start thinking about leaving early I have felt challenged to make sure I made as much use as possible of the last week and left on the best possible terms. The last few days in particular have been busy trying to visit a number of the players’ homes and catch up with people with whom I have been involved with during my time here.

Last night I took 3 of the boys, Raju, Nithya & Suresh, out to Pizza Hut. It was the first time they had eaten pizza! I’m not sure how much they enjoyed the food, they may have just been being polite but they definitely enjoyed me taking them out and the novelty of the experience. Today we will meet together to pray. These 3 are already developing into leaders of the ministry. They aren’t bad footballers but more importantly they almost never miss a training session or fellowship time. Raju and Nithya in particular have increasingly begun to take the administrative burden for the Eagles off Robin and all 3 will be involved in coaching the Division 4 side in the coming weeks as well as a couple of other school teams. My main hope and prayer is that my presence has even slightly helped them along that path. I know they have been a great help and support to me, as well as good friends.

My Football Story

Over the last couple of months I have had a fair few chances to talk with young footballers. Most of this occurs through translation so I have to keep in short and simple. Often these ‘talks’ are spur of the moment things that have to be made up on the spot. Sometimes there is a little more preparation time and here is the simple message I have given most often to a range of different groups. Obviously it’s been simplified and embellished to make it more effective and easier to tell so I apologise to those who know the original and where it’s been poetically ‘enhanced’. It’s only a short tale but it’s surprising how long it takes with actions and translation.

A few years ago I was part of a team from Sydney. The team was going to play in Thailand. I was captain of the team and really excited because it was the first time I had captained a team. We prepared hard for the trip. We saved up for the cost of the flights. We trained and exercised. We played practice matches. We were ready for the tour.

In Thailand we continued to work hard. We got used to the heat and got used to the conditions of the ground. We dealt with the referees who weren’t always very good and the opposition teams who were sometimes rough.

During our time in Thailand there was a tournament. We really wanted to win the tournament so worked really hard to do our best. The tournament started and we played hard and we played well. All the training and work paid off and we started to win games. Each game we won made us all the more excited and determined to win. By the time we got to the final we were really confident and knew that we were good enough and committed enough to win. And we did win. It wasn’t an easy game but we won.

The prize for winning was a big trophy. The trophy was great. It was shiny and new and we were very proud of our new trophy. We held it above our heads and had photos taken with it. We ran around with it and showed it to everyone. We were really excited about our trophy that we had earnt with all our hard work.

However, the next day we had to leave Thailand and we couldn’t carry the trophy on the plane. After some discussion we decided to pack it very carefully in a suitcase. We were so gentle and careful as we put it in the bag. We packed clothing and other soft things around the trophy and very delicately carried the suitcase out the front of where we were staying.

To get to the airport a van came to pick us up. When the van arrived the driver jumped out and walked up to where we were standing. He grabbed the bag with the trophy inside and with a big swing hurled the bad onto the van. As it landed we all heard the loud “Crack” and knew. When we opened up the suit case later our worst fears had happened the trophy was in pieces.

We had worked hard for that trophy, we had played well and we excited when we won it. But it didn’t last. It was fragile and temporary. However, we can win a trophy that will last. That can’t be broken or destroyed. God sent His son to die for us to bring us back into relationship with Him. This is a prize that doesn’t fade, doesn’t crack, doesn’t spoil and that is for all time.

I am here visiting you in India because I love football, I work hard and play hard with the Eagles team because I like winning. More than all these things though I am in India because I want to share with you the prize that is available in the death and resurrection of Jesus. A prize for available for all of us.

I like the story because it’s simple, straightforward, football related and easy to relate to the gospel. It has felt particularly well received at the couple of junior tournaments and teams with which we have been involved. The many opportunities to share with and encourage young footballers has been one of the greatest blessings of my time in India and the only real disappointment is that a couple of extra opportunities that we were exploring did not happen.

Don Bosco-McFerran Tournament

Robin’s Customs team was Runners-Up in the league last year. For this reason they were often invited to invitational tournaments. One of these was run by the catholic Don Bosco mission this week. It involved the Don Bosco teams, the top 4 Chennai teams and a collection of others from around the country. We ended up making the short trip out of the city to the ground on 3 occasions, twice for matches involving Customs and once for the final. As I watched the team run out for their first game I was struck by 2 thoughts. First I was highly envious and then this was quickly followed by wondering whether the Catholics were in need of sports ministers. The reason for these rather selfish thoughts was the pitch. It was the softest, greenest thing I have laid eyes on in the last six months and even in Australia would be considered a good field. In India it was unimaginable.


To add to the beauty of the field tiered wooden seating had been erected right round the field (for the final they were packed full). To call them simply stands would be a disservice to the true ingenuity of Tamil Nadu construction which believes that anything can be built if you have enough straight-ish branches and lots of lengths of rope. Add in herds of buffalo that blocked the road to the ground, a goat that wandered into the goal mouth during the warm up to the final and a collection of decent goals and it all made for a really enjoyable few days. For the final we hired a van and filled it full of the junior players from the Eagles Division 4 team and took them for an outing as they prepare for their season which starts in a couple of weeks.

2 Weddings 1 Week

Last week I got my first taste of an Indian Christian wedding reception. Then 3 days later I got my second taste. The two weddings were of people from very different social strata and therefore whilst having a similar basic structure were very different. The first wedding reception was between an Indian and a Sri Lankan both of whose fathers or grandfathers were pastors heavily involved in massive ministries. Therefore at times it felt as much a union between the ministries as it was between the two young people sitting in the middle of the stage. Adding to the Christian conference feel was the fact that the front 2 or 3 rows of the auditorium/theatre in which we sat were full of pastors and at least 6 or 7 of them got up to share at length in English. Clearly no expense had been spared as hundreds were fed, there was a 24 piece band and a number of musical items and the decorations were pretty incredible. This was on top of the money that had already been spent on a ceremony in Sri Lanka and the incredible decorations and outfits. The wedding couple changed half way through the ceremony to show off an extra set of expensive threads. The queues for the food were incredible but eventually worth the wait with bhiriani and tandoori chicken. However, my favourite part of the wedding was the ‘toast’. Christians in India don’t drink so they’d come up with a novel interpretation of the toast in which an old man who knows somebody’s grandfather gets up and talks about the families. For this wedding an old fellow talked at incredible length about the ministries of the couples respective grandfathers. All without raising so much as a glass of water to his lips.

The second wedding was a much more low key affair in the grounds of an old Church of South India church. Again we sat in rows of seats facing the stage but this time the speeches were quick and a mix of Tamil and English. Again the ‘toast’ made me smile with its old man talking about the families. Despite the fact that the speeches were still going as soon as food started to appear people got up from their seats and filed out to join that queue. There wasn’t enough seats to serve everyone their sit down meal so about a 100 or so people sat down side-by-side at a time. As I sat there silently shoveling food into my mouth trying to keep up with the largish Indian men on either side of me and ignore the person who was already behind my chair waiting for me to finish the thought of pigs at a trough kept popping into my head. Not that the food, bhiriani of course, was excellent and Angela’s relatives made me very welcome.

A quick random thank you!

I have often had a fair bit of time on my hands over here at times when everyone (excepting small children) are busy. The teaching in some of the churches and on 'Christian' television has often been dissapointing or in Tamil. Therefore I wanted to send out a really big thank you to everyone who over the last few years has made it possible to download sermons and talks from the internet.

I was first alerted to the possibilities to use this as a method of getting teaching whilst in a foreign country by a missionary I visited in South America who mentioned that he had been listening to the minister from my home church just prior to my arrival. He was right. They're a great resource if you have an okay internet connection, which thankfully I do. Where books take up space and weight in the pack and therefore carrying enough for more than 2 months is not feasible the talks have no such draw backs.

Therefore whilst I have been in India I have downloaded talks from a range of sites including EU, various Sydney churches, Sydney synod and the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics (which has a couple of really interesting and fairly unusual talks available). The point of this post is therefore to really thank everyone responsible for making these resources available. I particuarly want to thank the speakers for letting their talks be made available in this way and the techie people who do the recording and hosting work (I'm aware these skill sets are very rarely in the same people). I don't know if anyone involved in that work will read this but they've really been a support here and a couple of talks in particular have really helped me in a challenging time.

On holidays?

The League has been postponed, that much now seems definite. There probably won't be a competitive fixture from now until 24/25 February, which is well after I am scheduled to fly out. The Customs team (with which I had been training to try and keep up fitness here) have been given a holiday until the 1 February and the Eagles training schedule looks pretty thin, particularly given that a number of the players are using the postponement as a chance to let niggles heal and to head out of town to see family. Then there are the college tournaments that are about to start and will make even fewer players available for things.

It's all left me feeling pretty lost and confused. Suddenly everything that was keeping me busy and providing opportunities to talk and serve appears to have come to a halt. The fact that I won't be around when things get rolling again makes it even harder to work out what best to do. If this wasn't concerning enough it now seems like my host family may not be in Chennai for my last planned week here. Please keep me in your prayers as I really struggle with how best to make use of the time I have left and what plans to make about getting home and things like that.

Future thoughts

I have been reflecting lately on how much our thoughts of the future impact on current events. The weekend can be either a great chance to rest and unwind or a frustrating waste of time depending on whether we look forward to a busy Monday or a Monday spent catching up on deadlines missed. Many a confusing ordeal has been turned into an adventure by thinking about the story telling potential to be had later. Much of the study at university is judged as good or bad by students based on assumptions of what will be useful in the workforce. How very different does a month without work feel to the holidaymaker and the unemployed?

For me I have seen this phenomenon in the way my thoughts on this time of ministry in India have ebbed and flowed due to uncertainty about the future. As dreams and plans come in and out of the picture so what I do each day takes on more or less significance. It often all depends on how I think what I'm doing will or won't help get to that next thing or will help once I'm there. As plans fall apart or change the criteria by which things are judged changes with it and unfortunately so too does my experience of events.

As Christians we have a picture of the future into eternity. How great would it be to truly experience everyday events in the perspective of that future and judge by that criteria? Often we are able to look back and say "God was using that time" or "that was valuable in God's eyes" but I know I am regularly more influenced at the emotional level by how things fit into my short term future plans than eternity. Over the last month I think God has been giving me prayers to pray, both for myself and others. This is one of them:

That I may so trust God's future that I don't just look forward to it but experience the present in the light of it.

The Local Scene 4

Just one question on local life that has kept me amused lately:

How many good things can be in milk from a cow that feeds on trash all day?

As everyone knows cows are a big thing in India. It's the home of the sacred cows. They really are everywhere and you do have to drive around them or wait until they get out of the way.

Not that they're often very well looked after.

They're very skinny and often scavenge their way around the city. I've watched cows eating movie posters off the wall. I've seen one eating a motorbike (at least the non metal parts). There's one cow nearby that every time I see it is lying in the middle of a rubbish heap consuming anything within reach.

Given that they don't really eat beef the question I keep coming back to is how much use would milk be from that kind of cow?

Madras Eagles 0 - TN Special Police 0

Still undefeated. It was an okay result against one of the other teams pushing for promotion. However, it could have been so much better if the referee had bothered to tell us that he had only given an indirect free kick for a really nasty foul on the edge of the area prior to the kick being taken. Instead he waited until the ball had beautifully sailed into the net and then awarded a goal kick.

My own game can probably be summed up in two sentences:
I played in midfield for the first time.
"Winter" here is definitely over.
Therefore I was much more involved in the game but really, really felt the heat and poor pitch.

For your prayers
Most concerning coming out of the game is the news that due to complaints from a lot of teams the league may be postponed again. This has left my time here feeling really up in the air. I'm not sure whether or not there will be another match before I'm scheduled to fly home. I'm not sure whether there will be much training during the postponement and I'm really unsure of what the best option for me is in sorting through these issues. Please keep me and this issue in your prayers as at the moment it is all rather unsettling.

Tirur Village

On Saturday afternoon one of the players from Robin's Chennai Customs team, Arulmani (who speaks a little English), took me to his village. An hour long ride on the packed train further west it was an amazing change from the bustle of the city.

I think I must have been big news out there. By the time we got fully underway there was 16 really small boys (training barefoot) and 14 older boys ready to train. On top of this there were also dozens and dozens of locals who had come to watch my session. I ran two groups simultaneously for the big and little ones and had a lot of fun rushing from group to group trying to keep the drills interesting and challenging. There was some translation but getting my point across was still something of a challenge. At the end of the session everyone wanted to say thank you and shake my hand. At one stage rather than waiting their turn upwards of 10 small boys were shaking my hand simultaneously which was quite an experience. The adults in particular were very grateful for my visit and keep pressuring me to say I'd come back. They even gave me a gift, though I'm struggling to work out what is the appropriate thing to do with my newly acquired 'Mary and Child'.

I was disappointed that for various reasons I was unable to share more of why I was in India but still I was able to give out Eagles Sports Foundation stickers that included a Bible verse and contact details for the ministry.

After the session things got even more crazy as all the small children followed me back through the village to Arumani's house. There I posed for many, many photos with his family, neighbours, random local kids, local footballers and a whole range of those groups. Then food and drink was brought for me and everyone just sat around and watched me consume it. It was all a lot of fun but rather surreal.

When it was time to go I hopped back on the train to Villivakkam. I think late at night how full a train is is a matter of luck and I was very unlucky. We had to physically push ourselves into the carriage yet at every stop more people somehow managed to fit in. There was no way to even get near the seats let alone use one. By the time I got home I was absolutely exhausted but really excited by my adventure.

Struggling with Blessings 2

As mentioned in an earlier post I have been struggling with the way blessings were preached on and prophesied on in many of the Christian contexts I have been involved in. It was therefore to my amazement that when Bec arrived the book she was reading, whilst primarily about communication and spiritual growth focused heavily on the issue of suffering and blessings. The book SoulTalk by Larry Crabb has been really powerful in challenging and growing me during the last couple of weeks here and I'd really recommend it.

I've therefore thought I'd include a paragraph from it here as a part response to my early post:

"The weakness of modern Christianity, with its shallow worship and rootless excitement and crowd-friendly relevance, can be traced to one assumption: We think God's Spirit was sent to earth to give us the happiness that blessings bring. The suffering Lamb has done his work. Now the mighty Spirit has taken over. And his job is to build on the finished suffering of the Cross by overcoming our problems, healing our wounds, setting things right, and replacing suffering with adventure, meaning and romance.

Now we're in competition with every other religion and self-help movement and political ideology to produce the good life. It's a competition we cannot win, because Christ never promised us the blessings of heaven till we get there." (p.220)

The problem this still leaves me is how to best to relate to the prosperity teaching here in India and those desperately waiting for the Lord to make 2007 a really good year.

The Word of God

On Wednesday I decided to be more intentional about my discipleship of some of the senior players so met with 2 of them. For an hour we sat on the floor of my bedroom and read through 1 Timothy 1, talked, shared and prayed. At times it was slow going as one of the players had to translate a lot of the more complex English into Tamil and vice-versa but it was really encouraging to hear these young men speak of coming out of traditionally Hindu families and growing in their desire to serve the Lord. It was also a great opportunity for me to share some of the issues I have been thinking through in terms of my life and sports ministry with them. I pray that God will use some of the things we talked about and that I'll have opportunities to not only meet again with these 2 but spend time with a couple of the others.

In the evening I again saw the power of teaching about and from God's word but in a much larger context as I attended a large meeting to hear Ravi Zacharias speak. It was great to hear a strong talk (by someone the locals excitedly consider something of a local boy done good) on the topic of 'Has Christianity Failed You'. Where the discussion in the morning was simple, fragmentary and sometimes confused, the evening had no such problems as Ravi presented a Biblical and intellectual approach to the contrarieties of Christianity and then he and another visiting English lecturer answered questions people submitted on slips of paper.

Both meetings though had in common a desire to not only know more about God but to see our lives in the light of what He has done for us and left me touched by an awareness of what trully returning to the source can do in our lives (mine definitely included).

And An Entry To Fix the Text To Pics Balance

Struggling With Blessings

One challenge of getting involved with a ministry based on its mission techniques is that there’s no guarantee that you’ll be in agreement about all sorts of issues with everyone involved. I’ve really started to feel this in India. The ministry tends to lead towards more a more Pentecostal outlook on a range of issues. Mostly this is in terms of worship and prayer and is still pretty tame to my Anglican eyes. The one issue I have really started to struggle with lately though is that of the Lord’s blessings and it’s enough of a struggle to force me to write what’s a ridiculously long article.

Increasingly I am beginning to realise that many of the churches in India interpret the promises of God as material blessings and a more comfortable life. This has become most apparent with the start of the new year. Time and again I have heard preachers (both live and broadcast on television) speak of how 2007 will be the year of abundance, the year of blessing, the year of glorification, the year of increase. Taking small old testament verses from Isaiah and Psalms they have prophesied promotions, better health and growing businesses for 2007. Not once in January so far have I heard either a talk based on the New Testament or a warning that perhaps the new year might bring with it troubles and struggles like those faced in the old.

I am confronted by this on so many levels and have really been at a loss to know how best to react. What makes responding well even more of a challenge is the fact that most of the Christians I encounter have no idea that there is an alternative view point. They expect me to get as excited when the speaker prophesies promotions and being glorified in the sight of those around us as they do.

Now I think that taking Old Testament passages out of context is always dangerous and I think the picture we get of the early church in Acts and the letters of the New Testament don’t let us look for God to provide us with comfort. In fact, given that the history of Christianity from basically beginning to end is about facing persecution and sacrifice I feel angered (I like to tell myself it’s a righteous anger but I’m not sure) by the suggestion that new revelation reveals that God has changed tack and now wants a life of material ease for those members of his church (in stable and usually wealthy countries). However, what saddens me most about the teaching that is so prevalent here is the fact that it seems to so ill equip people for the troubles that do come. I’d like to share two examples that I have been wrestling with.

Robin has been working hard with the Eagles over the last 5 or so years. There have been a lot of challenges to overcome and being unwilling to bend principles for the sake of points has cost the team in terms of both promotion and income. However, a couple of the other older Christians involved in the program are convinced that the Lord will bless. Not just in terms of spiritual growth and providing the strength to witness but in onfield results. Now I believe the Lord may or the Lord may not. It depends on what his plans are for the team not ours. All this talk of the Lord guaranteeing us promotion makes life difficult for Robin. Only recently he shared how a number of the non Christians he knows in other clubs have started to ask: “you’ve been doing this team for so many years and not been promoted to the top division, what’s going on?” Now I think this should be a great opportunity to share about the things that are more important that results but Robin struggled. On the one hand he has a sense that the decision’s are in God’s hands on the other hand he kind of thinks maybe God should bless us for being a strong Christian team and help us get promoted. He shared with me that he had no answers to those friends.

On an even sadder note one noted local evangelist I spent time with recently has written a couple of books and speaks regularly. Recently though tragedy struck his family and his daughter died. Now this is an incredibly tragic thing and I don’t want to diminish the aching hurt he must be feeling. Even more tragic, I think, in the eternal picture is the fact that his Hindu neighbours have been asking him “you do all these things for your God, why doesn’t he protect your family?” and he has no answers. A chapter in one of his books is titled The Blood of Jesus Protects Us and it reads “those who are covered by the blood are protected both in the spiritual and physical realms”. Based entirely on stories from the Old Testament and promises to Israel found in the Pentateuch I found the chapter difficult reading and saw something of the struggle that he must be going through. He writes of the physical protection available but his own family suffers. Where does that leave him in his relationship with God?

Now I am often meeting Indian Christians who make this out of work Australian look very wealthy indeed and my heart goes out to them. I’d love them to receive even a tenth of the promises that are being given them. The part of me that’s tired, that’s anxious, that’s worried about the future would love the Lord to tell me life would be easier this year. Yet I don’t think he will. In fact I hear him tell me that “if they persecuted me, they will persecute you also” and it leaves me unsure how best to love my local brothers and sisters. How do I fully love those waiting for the Lord’s physical blessings and healings this year when I’m not as convinced that God’s work in their lives will look as they think it will?

Madras Eagles 1 – SD Somasundaram FC 0

I like to think that I give my all for my football teams and am happy to sacrifice for the team gain. Today I decided to do something less usual and self sacrifice for the benefit of not necessarily my team but definitely for team mates. I dropped myself to the bench.

As I sat there watching the team run out to play without me I found myself praying that I wasn’t needed, praying that I was redundant. Given how much of my settling in here was full of wondering whether I could contribute and whether I’d be a blessing or a burden it was a strange prayer. It also felt like a freer prayer than many I pray before and during football matches.

The team played well. In fact it seemed like a number of lessons that I had been hammering lately had been taken on board and we really should have had a lot more goals than just the 1. However, 1 was enough to get us the win and to keep us in touch in the competition for promotion.

I ended up coming on with about 10 minutes to go to provide some fresh legs. Now don’t think I’ve become some sort of footballing saint overnight. I still got fired up at the 2 centre midfields who can only work for 75% of a football match but never get substituted, I was still grumpy about a couple of the decisions made by the other coaches and the poor refereeing. However, we’ve passed the half way point of the season. We’re still undefeated. We’re at worst only a few points off the top teams and probably more importantly I’m starting to learn that I’m good enough a player to not have to prove it. Bring on the rest of the season – and the top 3 teams.

Left my heart in India

Just thought everyone might want to see a picture of us in traditional dress with most of Andrew's lovely host family (Stefka 10, Abhi 3 and Angela).
Thanks to Angela for letting me borrow her beautiful sari - fun to wear but I have no idea how women work on building sites carrying gravel on their head wearing these things. Almost all women in Chennai wear these or shalwars (long tunic and pants) so everyone thought it was very funny when I turned up to dinner wearning a sari while Angela was wearing jeans.
(I have been hassling Andrew to put up some more photos - to no avail yet...)

Small Blessings

Looking back at what I have written lately I’ve noticed a tendency to use these pages as a place to share my thoughts about things I can’t talk to the locals about for various reasons. Whilst there is value in this and it has definitely been helping me cope I don’t want to give the opinion that life here is just a serious of complaints. Therefore I thought I’d include some of the small joys that have made me smile lately.

Firstly, there are the text messages I receive regularly from Raju. A member of the team, Raju doesn’t get a lot of game time but he is super committed and responsible for letting the other players know what is going on. However, Raju isn’t content to merely let the others know where training is but takes any opportunity possible to send beautiful texts of Bible verses or well wishes. My favourite message is one he sent on what the players thought was Bec’s birthday:
“Wish you a happy birth day rebacca. We are all praying for you and Andrew (coach, player and friend)”

Secondly, there’s riding around on the back of motorbikes. Now I’m not sure how much fun you’re allowed to have with another man between your legs but traveling in this fashion has been a great way to feel part of local life. You get to see so much more of the city as you zip in and out of narrow streets and paths and life is much closer without glass to keep it away. I’ve learnt to enjoy it and forget about the pollution being pumped out of the vehicle in front or the dust or the lack of protection or observance of road rules. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with sitting in traffic in an orderly manner at traffic lights back in Australia.

Thirdly, there’s the time with the Bible. Being stuck in a foreign country with time to kill between training sessions has been great for my Bible reading. I have continued to build upon the habit I started in Thailand of writing on the top of each page of my diary what passage I read and have increased the size of the passages as I’ve realised time is not an issue. I’m not someone who finds a pertinent point or thought for the day in every reading but I’ve felt that the important points are stronger and clearer for the fact that I read them in the context of the whole book.

Fourthly, there’s the willingness of the players to do most anything at training and their smiles and handshakes as we part ways. There are often puzzled looks when I try to explain something but there are never complaints. No matter how unusual the drill or how hard I make them work the players give it a go (of course experienced players are the same everywhere and will still look for a short cut). Having most recently been in charge of a teenage girl’s school team and played with a couple of the least disciplined teams in the State league I just assumed that whinging and moaning was just what training sounded like. They’re desperate for coaching here and lap up anything that’s thought out and well set up. Plus they have such great smiles that really light up when they first say hello or thank you for something.

Loneliness

Solitude is hard to come by in this city and particularly so in this neighbourhood. Everyone lives so close together and there are so many people everywhere that it is difficult to find enough space for moments of solitude. Even when I'm lying on my bed reading Abhi will drop something on me or poke me in an attempt to get attention. Even if I lock the door and turn on the trusty ipod the sounds of the neighbourhood, small children screaming, roosters, dogs, traffic, very loud conversations, are unavoidable. I don't have quiet times in the way I used to think about them on Christian camps, instead I have "quiet if I focus really hard on the words in front of me rather than everything else going on" times.

On the other hand in my life here it is often easy to feel alone. There may be a lot of people around but that has never been a solution to loneliness. I was starting to feel this in the weeks leading up to Christmas and it has been really brought home to me since Bec flew out on Wednesday. This is an easy place to feel isolated. The part of town I am staying in feels isolated from the more western areas with supermarkets and choices about food and Chennai is clearly a long way from Australia and family and friends at home. Even when I am with others most of the conversations happen in Tamil (even when everyone at the table speaks strong English) and it is only when a direct question is asked is of me is translation provided. There are plenty of times when all you long for is a conversation in effortless English or a chance to talk about something you just saw with someone who understands that you might have found the event unusual. On top of this my schedule lends itself to fairly long empty hours when everyone else is off doing other things between training in the morning and evening. Even the act of writing thoughts and reflections down often feels like a mixed blessing as its such a one-directional style of communication.

This is not to say that people haven't been welcoming or made real efforts to look after me. People here have been lovely and really generous. Instead it is more the challenges of trying to work and do ministry in a foreign culture. To experience the frustrations of language - to be the subject of conversations 10 times for every conversation you're involved in. It's probably also a sign that my relationships at home aren't as flawed as I am tempted to think during moments of disatisfaction or misunderstanding. Which ever way you look at it or explain it this is becoming the biggest challenge of my time in India. How to find the solitude I crave (even if only of spirit) and deal with the loneliness that is so hard to avoid? In the past I've described myself as a shy extrovert, I get energy from small groups of familiar people, and I'm not sure these type of people find the transition to another culture easy but this hasn't diminished either my desire to be here or to serve in ministries of this nature longer term. It has just given me a growing awareness of the inner struggles I must work with, against and around to truly serve the Lord here and into the future.

I also wanted to take the opportunity to thank all of you who've been in contact over the last month or so, whether by comments on this site or through emails. It's a wonderful feeling to realise you've not been forgotten or that you're not just writing for the sake of throwing more words out into the crowded emptyness that can be the web. People's thoughts have encouraged, inspired and made me smile. They have also challenged me to be more diligent about keeping in contact with others I know who are working cross culturally.

Madras Eagles 1 - TN Electricity Board 0

Well we got the win and I got my tongue under more control. It's not fixed but there were improvements and I managed to keep a smile on my face for most of the game. It's a better sign when the laughableness of the officiating makes you actually laugh.

Due to some administrative reason or another the games for the rest of the season have been moved from the Nehru Stadium to Nehru Park. The difference in the name says it all. There were no changerooms and the grandstand was a bit of a concrete block. The field itself was one of the worst I have ever seen. Parts of it were mud, parts of it were gravel, parts of it were rock and parts were long grass. The only saving grace is that it is smaller than the Stadium was so there wasn't as far to run in the sun.

The weather here continues to bemuse me, there has been no sunshine all week then just in time for the game the sun comes out and the temperature goes up. At the moment I'm trying to decide whether these spikes in heat are the Lord trying to teach me something or attributable to the brokeness of the world and a sign that creation is groaning in longing.

I'm still struggling to work out how to play as part of the team. It can often be really frustrating to keep making runs into dangerous positions to watch the ball sail over your head into the keepers arms (which happens a lot more now the field is smaller). Since the Christmas break it often feels like we work all week training on a really sharp passing game, use it occassionally in games to great effect and then go back to kicking the ball long and hoping the opposition makes a mistake. It's not really how I like playing and doen't give me much of a chance to do much. On the one hand that doesn't matter too much because I'm not here to count my goal tally but on the other hand how we play (and how I play) is part of our witness and so continues to be part of my struggle here.

The Local Scene 3

Having been here now for a month and a half I am increasingly struck but what seems like amazing contradictions. For me the following 3 simple (and perhaps a touch superficial) questions illustrate how hard I'm finding it to fully get inside the Indian mind.

1. Why is it okay to relieve yourself on any street corner but you need to wear underpants whilst showering (even, I think, in the privacy of your own home)?

2. How can you live daily without fear of the many mosquito borne illnesses (and therefore do very little to prevent mosquitoes being everywhere) but fear chilled water because it's guaranteed to give you a cold?

3. Why after a small child has ridden around on a motorbike in the incredible air pollution of this city all week is her cough blamed on having drunk grape juice 24 hours before?

Living with a local family has been an amazing experience for me. It has given me a real taste of life here and shown me many of the great strengths of the local culture. However, it has also had its frustrations and is incredibly exhausting. The locals joke I am becoming more Indian and it's been wonderful how they have welcomed me into their lives. It has though been exhausting and continues to take the practice of grace when confronted with confusions and contradictions, many of which are more challenging than the silly examples above.

This Sports Ministry Thing Ain't Easy

It's often said that a footballer is only as good as his or her last game. I think the same can be said of football ministry. There are just so many chances within the 90 minutes of a game and the surrounding moments to either glorify God or fail to do so. The game of football involves so many fouls, mistakes, successes and failures all of which can be dealt with with grace, humility and forgiveness or with arrogance, frustration or bitterness. On a couple of occasions people have suggested to me that sports ministry is something of a soft option. The nature of the preparation and activity are pretty unusual as far as ministry goes, however, to suggest it is easy is to ignore what a fine line the Christian sportsman or woman walks between being no good to their team and no good to the Lord. It calls on them to not only be counter cultural but to remain so under the pressure of competition.

My last game for the Eagles reminded me of this and left me by the end of the game aware of both my need for repentance and further growth in the area of on field witness. Now I'm not what you'd call a dirty player, in fact I've on occasion been accused of being too soft, so the biggest challenge for me involves how I use my tongue. Playing in Chennai is an interesting challenge for controlling the tongue for a few reasons. Firstly there's no opportunity for subtlety. There's plenty of English spoken but it has to be blunt to get your message across. Secondly the refereeing is extremely bad and often very, very frustrating. Their refusal to believe that any Indian could foul the foreigner on top of general incompetence can give rise to a strong desire to let loose. Thirdly even communicating with team mates is difficult and therefore it is a challenge to express what you're after simply, clearly but graciously.

The game itself was a 1-1 draw, which wasn't a terrible result but for the first 50 minutes the team played well and then for the rest of the game played worse than I have ever seen them. In particular a couple of players in the backs and centre of midfield gave every ball they got straight to the opposition so we spent the whole time defending (and were lucky to only concede 1 goal). The strikers between us received no more than a handful of passes in the entire second half. In my frustration and desire to refocus the team I crossed the line and let my tongue loose. I was loud, I was critical and I clearly lacked grace. All I could see were faults and it was driving me mad. Thankfully the Lord gave me the strength to bite my tongue when the final whistle sounded and I was able to be gracious in the change rooms afterward. However, all the time my insides were swirling in a confusion of anger at the way the team had played and anger at myself for the way I had reacted.

The team were very good about everything and probably just put my noise down to my culture but I could no longer fool myself and learnt plenty through it. In particular I was reminded that just knowing what you should do in a situation is not the same as having the strength to do it. Every time I opened my mouth I knew I shouldn't but didn't stop. I also wonder if it's not enough to simply pray "Lord give me the strength to control my tongue" - which I do regularly. Perhaps God also wants me to take active steps to solve the problem. For me the first step was to acknowledge that it was unacceptable but not unavoidable, to stop making excuses and recognise it as sin. The next step was repentance, first to God and then to the team. Operating as a player-coach I am often quick to admit when my play lets the team down. I also have to be willing to admit when my witness lets the team down. I also have to continue to grow in how I see my team mates, referees, the opposition, even the game itself. I know in God's grace I have come a long way but there's still a long way to go. This sport's ministry thing is powerful but it ain't easy.

My next game is the Friday (12 Jan) so please keep me in your prayers as I seek to put my new resolutions into effect with God's strength.

Together in India

Thanks for praying for us during our period of separation – for 12 days we are together.

It has been lovely to see everything Andrew has been doing here, to meet some of his new friends, to eat with his Indian family and to drag him out for his first real tourist experiences.

It has been great to have some quality relaxation time together, including one night at a Christian guest house/beach resort where we had a good chance to share all that had happened in December and reflect and process the challenges, heartaches and joys of 2006.

One of the things I am really struck by is that there are many good and legitimate things that we want or that we hope for. It can feel devastating when we don’t or can’t have those things, when we face hardship, disappointments and suffering. But as CS Lewis describes them, these things are second things. This thought began to take hold in Sydney and is growing as I see things here and reflect on all that 2006 was. I am praying that we will be able to put first things, knowing, desiring and glorifying God, first.